The sick saga continues

Probably an hour after my last post Addie woke up from her nap feeling sick and feverish. We ended up taking her to the doctor on Friday and discovered that she has another ear infection (or maybe the same one that wasn't fully taken care of the first time??) Also had very rapid breathing which Dr. was worried might be the beginnings of a bacterial pneumonia. She was complaining of her throat hurting and eyes hurting.  An hour after she has some motrin she perks up and seems to be healthy and normal (except for the constantly running nose and phelgmy cough) but a couple hours later when the pain killer wears off, she crashes and become very lethargic and sad and complains of everything hurting, and her temp starts rising again. After a rough night last night we were very glad to see that she seemed better this morning and didn't need any pain meds for about 7 hours. Now she has been napping soundly for over an hour (the first really good nap in days). We're hoping that this means that the antibiotics are doing they're job and that she'll continue to improve over the next couple days. This has been quite a month!

Some things that I've been thinking about the last couple days:

* I am a very good "fair-weather mom" and even a pretty good "stormy-weather" mom, I am not a good-"beginning of the storm" mom when I don't know what the kind of storm we will be dealing with is.  I hate uncertainty and the feeling of being out of control. It is awful thinking that your child is finally healthy and then see her fall sick again for mysterious reasons. I really struggle with holding myself together at these times. When I want to feel sympathy I find myself feeling resentment and self-pity. How can she possibly be getting sick AGAIN! REALLY??! And then I beat myself up for thinking these thoughts and feel guilty that I'm not being a more supportive mom.

*I love sleep....a lot. I have not felt this sleep deprived since Addie was a newborn, it was probably way worse then...but I've forgotten a lot. Which would be why I'm pregnant again ;)

*The very large purple bean bag that we just bought for Addie's room was maybe more for me than it was for her. It is so comfortable and sure beats sleeping on the floor beside her bed.